06 Nov Learning to Say “I Love You”
For those of us (most of us!) who spend a lot of time on social media – much of what we see in our feeds is flooded with self-love, or some form of it anyway. Selfies, everywhere. I even have a friend who admits to having a photo stream entitled “narcissism”. If only a commitment to self-love were as easy as posting a “selfie” on Facebook…
To me, a commitment to self-love is a commitment to action. Over the last year, I’ve spent a lot of time in excavation mode around what was not making me happy. Self-love is more than that: It was acknowledging that I deserve to be happy and seeking out exactly what it is that does make me happy. The most challenging, but most rewarding thing that I encountered was changing my mindset and initial approach. I have spent a lot of time in reaction to life around me (my job, my relationships, my family, my health). When I began to practice a little love for myself, I realized that I deserved better than dealing with consequences. I began the exercise of approaching every situation and setting myself up for the most successful outcome – what I wanted most to happen. I walked away from a job. I left a relationship. To me, it felt like I was being a “no” to a lot of things around me – but for the first time, I was being a “yes” to myself.
I’m almost thirty and it sounds strange that for the first time in my life, I finally feel responsible for my own happiness. I left two committed relationships (a career and a marriage) to be in a committed relationship with myself. Oddly enough, I am in a relationship that still has its ups and down – Funny how we always think it’s the other person, until you’re the other person! But in the same way we learn to love others through their strengths and weaknesses, I’m learning to love myself. Self-awareness is breeding self-love. Every opportunity I take to understand myself more (Why don’t I ask for help? Why do I run away when help is offered?), I fall in love a little deeper.
During the last 40 Days Program, Paula invited us to roll down the windows on the way home from the studio and shout “I love myself!” I invite you to do the same. Say it loud. And mean it. Put love out into the universe – and don’t wait to see what comes back – ask for what you want in return. Because you’re worth it!